2021- Year of the elopement wedding?
An elopement wedding is defined as a marriage conducted with out the knowledge of the couples families & friends, particularly their parents. Typically, those who elope only have a short ceremony & do not have a reception or formal celebration. Is this definition a little outdated? The short answer is yes.
Many people over the last few years have begun opting for elopement style weddings due to the rise in cost of a wedding, the average UK spend now being around £30,000. There are many reasons you might opt for an elopement wedding these days, such as cost, family politics, a rejection of the ideology around a traditional white wedding or the chance at a destination wedding. Millennials in particular are waiting longer to get married than generations before them, with over half saying that they would consider an elopement wedding. Internet searches on popular wedding tool Pinterest have seen the term “elopement” increase in popularity by 128% since 2019 (according to wikipedia, so who actually knows) but the trend is there, and its rising. Could 2021 be the year we see the term elopement redefined?
It is certain that a new definition is emerging among younger generations and is spreading to others, such as second-time marriages. In this new definition we are seeing an intentionally smaller wedding, where more importance is placed on the commitment between the couple than on the traditions, white dress and party & we think that’s just beautiful.
Of course we are not knocking the traditional style of wedding- I wouldn’t do what I do if I didn’t love weddings of all sorts & sizes, but if we are learning anything from the pandemic crisis we currently face its that the time to act is now! Life is short, grab your sweetheart & run away! Just kidding…
But in all seriousness, with the pandemic causing havoc in the event, wedding & hospitality industries, a return to normal may still be a little way off & it is adding more stress to the already stressful task of planning a wedding when it comes to reducing numbers, who to invite, who not to invite & what you can & cant do.
In the last few weeks I’ve had enquiries from couples who have had their weddings cancelled, wanting a short & sweet weekend getaway where they arrive as two & leave as one. It got me thinking- how does it work, what can they do & is it still legally binding?
Below I have put together some information on how elopement weddings work, what is required legally before hand, what you can do for your day & how Lake Vyrnwy could be the perfect elopement spot if it’s something you are considering.
The Legal Stuff.
Getting married elopement style isn’t as easy as TV and film might suggest. There are still a few things that you need to check of your list before you can run off.
Giving Notice. You still need to give notice, so you will need to inform your local district council of your intent to marry & provide them with the details of who, when & where. This is then forwarded to the registrars of the district in which the marriage is to take place (this is all done for you, don’t worry). It needs to be done at least one month before hand but no more than 12 months before hand. There is also a fee of £35 per person to be paid.
Registrars- the registrars of the county in which you intend to marry will need to contact and/or meet with you to collect the information of both parties & in general to make sure you are both of sound body & mind, which leads me to my next point…
SOBRIETY. Now, we all saw Ross & Rachel, but unless you are actually doing it in Vegas, no registrar is going to marry you if you’re intoxicated & will definitely not marry you with permanent marker whiskers on your face (at least not without a heads up).
Now, once you have ticked off the legal stuff, you can start looking for a venue. I know I am bias, but can you imagine a more beautiful place to elope than Lake Vyrnwy? I shouldn’t feel too guilty, the blogs called Lake Vyrnwy Weddings after all!
Elope to Lake Vyrnwy.
Let me set the scene for you. We’ll go with December (if you get you wedding notice in now, it could happen!).
Its December, you round the last corner from Llanwddyn & your eyes settle on the rugged masonry & high walls of the Lake Vyrnwy Dam. As you proceed along the road, you notice the choppy waves of the lake itself, its cold so its probably a little foggy too.
The lake stretches on to your left, lined with tall trees, some bare & some evergreen, disappearing into the misty far bank.
On your right you reach the bottom of our drive, a sloping path up to the hotel & more importantly, warmth.
You arrive & are greeted in reception by a warm smile, you keys, complimentary facemask & sanitiser- your wedding weekend can begin.
If you are staying for a few days or nights you can spend that first evening relaxing, its been a long drive (regardless of where you’ve come from Lake Vyrnwy is quite remote, so its always safe to assume its been a long drive.) Take dinner in the Tower Restaurant, our new tapas menu is perfect for sharing & grazing with a bottle of wine, or bundle up in coats & blankets on the terrace to catch an early sunset- it really doesn’t matter what time of year, they are always spectacular here. If you are a fan of sunsets, be sure to checkout our Facebook page (icon link on the blog home page) for more spectacular examples.
The next day wake up at a leisurely time, eat breakfast overlooking the lake & wrap up for a day of hiking or cycling. Get out & get back to nature with your loved one- there is plenty to see & do.
Wander home to the hotel & grab some lunch, maybe even box it up and take it down to the lake side with a thermos of tea. Spend the day enjoying each others company & talking, do the things we never seem to have time for any more- but whatever it is, do it together. That’s the whole reason you’ve come, right?
Head back to the hotel for dinner & probably more wine, rest those tired legs in front of the lounge fire with a hot beverage (I recommend the mocha- divine!) & then get an early night because- You’re Getting Married In The Morning!
Whether its in the morning, afternoon or early teatime, the beauty of an elopement wedding is its flexibility. There are no bridesmaids who need hair & makeup doing, there’s no 100 person, perfectly organised & timed feast to think about, there’s no hours spent taking photos. You can do as you wish, at your own pace, with the person you love most.
Get suited, get dressed, throw on a onesie if you must but do it your way. You can wear what you want. Another of the best things to bear in mind about an elopement wedding is there is no fear of expectation- so do it your way.
Wander down to the drawing room with ten minutes to spare, meet with your registrars, grab your witnesses (not literally, there’s still a pandemic going on) & let the outside world melt away because for the next twenty minutes, you & your fiancé are all there is.
What you do in your ceremony is up to you, whether you write your won vows or opt for a more traditional approach, exchange your rings (if that’s your thing) and sign on the dotted line, congratulations- you’re married!
You did it!
Afterwards.
Upon returning home, its up to you how to proceed; send out announcement cards detailing you nuptials, host a zoom engagement party with a twist (you’re already married) or wait until you can plan a real party for your loved ones who, had it not been for a cruel twist of fate by Mother Nature, would have been there on your day. Most that elope have had some sort of celebration afterwards with friends & family, when circumstances best allow and I think this is definitely something we’ll also see a rise in in the future (when numbers allow of course).
With any wedding or potential couple that I work with one of my biggest points of concern is that they understand that this day, the most special day of their life, should be what they want & if that means throwing tradition to the wind, that’s just wonderful.
FAQ’s
Is the marriage legally binding? Yes, if you have followed the legal requirements, been married by an ordained minister or registrar and have signed the marriage certificate, the ceremony, however short and sweet, is legally binding and you will receive a copy of your marriage certificate upon completion.
Will people understand why we chose to elope? I can’t say that everyone will, you will probably face a lot of questions about why you chose to go it alone but ultimately its up to you how and where you marry. I would prepare yourself for the fact that some may feel upset or angry to have been excluded, but given time I’m sure they will come round, for some the idea of doing it without family or friends present wouldn’t be something they would consider, but that shouldn’t govern you.
Can we elope abroad this year? I would say that given the current climate it is unwise to plan too many things abroad this year, but there are certainly places you can go, check out the .gov website for a full list of places you can elope to but be sure to check things like their current quarantine status.
Its time to reclaim the term elopement, no longer a term to mean shotgun wedding or something to hide, but a celebration of two people, by those two people.
For details on how to elope to Lake Vyrnwy please send an email to events@lakevyrnwy.com.